


Let this be the light of a new day

by Jutschina



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Coda, M/M, Small Worlds - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 20:25:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4934095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jutschina/pseuds/Jutschina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"After what happened with Jasmine, nobody is talking to me (except Ianto). They'll come around. Everyone comes around." Coda to Jack's entry in the Captain's Log after the events of "Small Worlds". Set after the episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let this be the light of a new day

Ianto watched the team's return to the Hub via CCTV. He saw how Gwen, Tosh and Owen moved swiftly past Jack, completely ignoring the man who gestured around and spoke to them.

The welsh man raised an eyebrow - _'Something's up.'_ \- and went over to the Hub's kitchen, putting on the coffee machine. _Looks like they're gonna need some coffee._

Rather unsettled, he then waited for the cog wheel to open and the team to come in. He still felt strange around them; it'd been only days since Jack had let him return to work after one month of suspension. No one had mentioned anything since, and Ianto sensed that they all wanted to avoid the topic of his betrayal and move on - but it was never that easy, was it?

The noise of the door opening interupted Ianto's thoughts. He shot a quick glance at the coffee machine, before he sheepishly stepped into the entrance area of the Hub and watched Gwen, Tosh and Owen enter. They greeted him with short nods and then all gathered around the computer desks, crossing their arms in front of their chests and whispering with each other. Just then, Jack entered as well. His pace was slower than the others', and he glanced around between Tosh, Owen and Gwen (without any of them returning the look); with a sigh, he finally shook his head and moved up to his office.

Ianto frowned. _What the fuck happened?!_ As Jack glanced back to the team once more, the welsh man tried to catch his eye, but the Captain didn't look at him.

He didn't have to wait long for an explanation though. After Jack's retreat, there was a brief silence, and Ianto went to get the coffee for the team. He left some in the machine for the Captain - he'd bring him his cup later, maybe after the tense atmosphere had cooled down a bit.

Ianto had just put down Gwen's cup on her desk when the woman turned around to him and started: "Can you believe what Jack has done?" From one second to the next he was surrounded by his three team mates who all simultaneously told and explained to him what had happened this afternoon with Jasmine and the fairies.

Ianto closed his eyes as he heard about Jack giving the child to the creatures - he suddenly understood why his friends were so upset and the atmosphere so tense. But - he could also understand Jack's decision. "He didn't have much of a choice, though, did he?", he asked carefully as the others had finished speaking.

Owen snorted and shrugged his shoulders. "Well - who knows? Maybe all we needed was some bloody time to figure something out!"

"It was a child, Ianto, an innocent child!", Gwen added. She shook her head in disapproval and took a sip of the coffee. Her face brightened up and she beamed at Ianto. "Oh God, this is delicious. How do you always do this?", she exclaimed, smiling at the young man. "C'mon, get one for yourself, take a seat with us. We can talk for a bit. Won't bother anyone."

Ianto cleared his throat. Almost automatically he'd started pondering whether he could get away with an excuse - that he needed to clean up the kitchen, or file some important documents down in the Archives, or whatever. But, then, as he looked at them - Gwen's friendly smile and Tosh's inviting gesture and Owen's encouraging nod - he suddenly realised that it was time to stop that. He'd hidden himself long enough, hadn't he?

"Why not?", he answered with a slight smile.

He was just on his way back to the kitchen to get himself a coffee when Jack stepped out of his office. The atmosphere, that had just lightened up, changed immediately, the smiles were wiped from the team's faces, and all of a sudden they were all busy drinking their coffee and typing data into the computers.

"Okay, listen--", Jack began. Nobody - except for Ianto who'd stopped on his way and had turned towards the Captain - did even care to look up to him. Jack sighed, for a brief moment there even was an expression of hurt on his face, and Ianto's heart filled with compassion for the man. _I know that it wasn't your fault. You didn't want this either._

"The Rift isn't doing much at the moment. I can manage alone for the rest of the day. Go home, everyone. Get some rest. See you tomorrow, usual time."

Still no reaction from the team - Ianto looked around between them awkwardly and cleared his throat. Jack shot a short glance at him and then, just shrugging his shoulders, returned to his office.

Without losing any further words, Gwen, Owen and Tosh each shut down their computers and packed their stuff together.

"Pub?", Owen asked, and the ladies nodded approvingly. "Sounds good", commented Gwen, while Tosh smiled at Ianto. "Coming with us?"

The welsh man hesitated for a moment before he shook his head. "Um- sorry, still got something to do in the Archive - next time, yeah?"

Gwen raised an eyebrow but they all kept their thoughts to themselves.

"Next time", Tosh nodded. "See you tomorrow."

After they'd left and he was on his own again, Ianto cursed and punched the wall. He hadn't wanted things to go this way! He had hoped to actually spend some time with his team mates, his _friends_! He knew that they still cared and worried about him. He wanted to make things right.

But then... there was of course Jack. Ianto slowly raised his eyes to the Captain's office. _I think, you could do with some company right now as well._

With a sigh, he picked up Gwen's, Owen's and Tosh's still half-full coffee mugs, carried them to the kitchen and dumped the liquid into the sink. Then he did the wash up, deciding to give Jack a few more minutes, before he finally filled the last coffee from the machine into Jack's cup, straightened himself and made his way up to the Captain's office. He hesitated a second before he eventually knocked on the door.

"Yeah?", he heard Jack calling and pushed the door open to find his boss sitting at his desk. "Oh, Ianto... what are you still doing here?"

"Brought you some coffee", Ianto answered and entered the room. As he approached Jack's desk, the first thing he noticed on it was an almost empty bottle of Whisky with a used glass next to it. He raised an eyebrow and put the coffee mug down. "... but I see you've already helped yourself, Sir."

Jack snorted and poured himself another drink. He drank it down in one sip and was about to pour out one more, as Ianto snatched both bottle and glass from him and moved them out of the Captain's reach. "How much did you have already?", he asked in a dry, matter-of-fact voice. He could smell the alcohol on Jack. "Enough, I'd say."

"Pffh, don't think so", the man responded with a bitter laugh, and yet he didn't try to get his Whisky back. "So... guess you've come to blame me as well. Shout at me. Saw you with the others, they told you what happened? Well, go on, then."

Ianto blinked in confusion and looked at Jack who stared at him as if he expected Ianto to do exactly what he'd just said.

"I- I'm not here to shout at you, Sir", he answered slowly. Jack raised an eyebrow and then glanced away.

"Oh. Yeah. Of course, I meant you as well when I said everyone can go home. It's okay, I'll manage."

A shiver ran through Ianto's body as he thought of 'going home'. 'Home' meant his flat. And he'd spent more than enough time there in the past month. In fact, he was grateful for every excuse that kept him away from there for a while.

"Look at you. If there's a Rift alarm and you have to hunt down a weevil, you'll probably see more than just one and end up attacking something that isn't there", he stated with an amused smile on his lips. "No way I leave, now when it gets interesting."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "Why _have_ you come, then?"

Ianto shrugged his shoulders. "I... I want to help... uhm - talk maybe? I heard their version of the story, so how about yours?" He slowly sat down on the edge of Jack's desk, facing the older man and patiently waiting.

The Captain held Ianto's gaze for a moment; then he shook his head and glanced away. "Well, you know what? You were right that night."

Ianto frowned. "What do you mean? When?"

Jack hesitated. "The night with- Lisa." The welsh man stiffened immediately. _Why does he bring this up? Why does he bring_ her _into it now?_ "When you said that I was the biggest monster of all."

Ianto jumped up and clenched his hand into a fist. "Don't you dare!", he shouted, already taking a swing to punch Jack. His fist stopped only centimeters before the man's face. Jack didn't even blink. "Don't. You. Dare!", Ianto repeated in a growling voice, and then exhaled heavily. He sank back down on the edge of Jack's desk. Memories of the night one month ago flooded his mind and brought a new range of emotions to the mixture of anger and - whatever else it was he already felt. He ran his hand through his hair and pressed his lips together, trying to calm down.

"I didn't mean it", he finally muttered in a croaky voice. "You know that I didn't - well, maybe I did, for a few moments that night, when I wasn't... thinking straight - but it is not true."

"Isn't it?", Jack responded. He sounded as tired as Ianto felt.

"No. So stop this shit. I see why you had to do this today. No other choice, right? The Impossible Decision that still has to be made. Doesn't make you a monster. But you're the only one who could do it. Tosh, Owen, Gwen - they wouldn't have been able to make this decision. And this is what makes you our leader. They may despise you now, may ignore you or shout at you - but when it all has settled they'll see what I'm seeing right now - you did what you had to do, even though it broke your heart. And then they'll respect the decision, and they'll be grateful that they weren't the ones who had to make it. Just give them time."

Ianto finished and pondered for a moment, then he reached for the Whisky and took a sip straight from the bottle. He closed his eyes and saw Lisa - he jerked slightly and, with trembling hands, raised the bottle for another sip, knowing that this night would be a bad night.

"And you don't need time?", Jack asked. Curiosity resonated in his voice.

Ianto's thoughts wandered back to the past month. The suspension after Lisa's death had been the worst time of his life; he'd been forced to sit at home and do nothing but think about everything that had happened - the loss of Lisa, and his betrayal that made him responsible for the death of two people. If it hadn't been for Jack, Ianto wouldn't be here now. Jack had been the one who would make sure that he ate at least once a day. He'd been the one who would clean up whenever Ianto got hold of some alcohol and drank until he threw up and fell asleep on the floor. And in some nights, when Ianto would wake up screaming from a nightmare, he'd find two hands gently shaking his shoulders and a soothing voice shushing him until he realised that he'd dreamed.

Now, Ianto reached out and laid one hand on Jack's shoulder. He cracked a smile and answered: "No, I don't." _Look at us. What a couple of champions we are._

Jack sighed and closed his eyes. "Thank you", he whispered, nearly inaudible. "I- I think I really needed that right now." He pulled back his chair and stood up, slightly staggering on his feet.

Ianto rolled his eyes and caught the tottering Captain in his arms to prevent him from falling as he tried to move forward.

"Dear, dear, _seriously_ , how much of that bottle did you drink today?", he commented. Then, without giving it further thought, he wrapped his arms around Jack and held him in a tight embrace. He exhaled deeply, feeling his body relax. Had he ever thanked Jack for being there for him during that month? Ianto doubted it. So he hugged him even closer and murmured quietly: "Thank _you_ , Jack."

After a moment of confused disorientation, he felt Jack wrapping his arms around him as well. The whole embrace only lasted for a few seconds before Ianto slowly pulled away, leaving his hands on Jack's sides to support the man.

Jack peered at him with a pensive look. Suddenly, he leaned forward, and Ianto felt the Captain's lips pressing against his. He stiffened, completely overwhelmed - and then, he started to return the kiss, filled with an unknown inner yearning. Just like the embrace, the moment lasted far shorter than it felt like; already took Jack a step back, bumping into the chair behind him, and the two men stared at each other wide-eyed, both equally surprised by what had happened.

Jack was the first to lower his eyes; he cleared his throat and murmured an inaudible apology, but Ianto shook his head, his mouth opening and closing as he searched for words. He was confused, had so many questions - but the one that finally left his mouth wasn't among those he'd thought about- "Why the hell did you stop?"

Jack raised his glance at the welsh man. As their eyes met, they both couldn't hold back the laughter anymore - they grinned at each other and giggled in the most silly way; then Ianto reached out and carefully, almost timidly, stroked Jack's cheek, and the older man leaned into the touch with a deep sigh.

This all was strange and new, and Ianto had no idea what was happening, but it didn't matter now.

As Jack started tottering again and hiccuped, Ianto hurried to steady him and then made him sit down in his chair.

"Look at you", he said with a fond smile, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Jack 'I can manage alone for the rest of the day' Harkness! Better get you into bed." He nodded towards the hatchway on the floor. "Downstairs, is it?"

Jack nodded and yawned. "Gnn - damnit, I - argh, you're probably right about me - but-"

"I take care of everything. I spent far too much time that last month sitting at home doing nothing - I'm rather grateful that I have something to do now", Ianto cut Jack off while he moved to open up the hatch. "You go and get some rest."

"Yeah, but anyway", Jack mumbled, getting up and staggering towards him. "No drinking when on Rift duty - Ianto, I make you personally responsible to remind me of that whenever you consider it necessary."

"Let's hope you have a nice headache tomorrow to remind you", Ianto countered with a mischievous grin.

"From that bit of Whisky? Ah, you haven't seen me drinking properly. There's this space bar, y'know, and I can tell you, they serve this special brand of Hypervodka, and-"

"They sure do", Ianto hurried to interupt Jack before the Captain got too carried away with his little anecdote to be stopped. After all, the whole team had to endure more than enough of them on a daily basis.

The welsh man climbed down the ladder into Jack's bedroom. Wide-eyed, he looked around in the small spaced area. He'd known that Jack basically lived in the Hub... but seeing this little room - only the most basic furniture on the one hand, on the other hand alien-looking artefacts all over the place... he knew that what he saw here was Jack's - home... or more like all he could get for a home. _Like a man ready to leave this place any time, without even looking back._

Ianto's thoughts were interupted as Jack started climbing down the ladder after him, and the welsh man quickly moved to make sure that the Captain didn't stumble and fall.

Save on the ground, Jack yawned again and stretched himself before clumsily removing his suspenders and starting to get undressed. Ianto cleared his throat. "You're getting along, Sir?", he asked.

"Mhm-mhm, 'course. And, um, Ianto?"

The welsh man who was already on the ladder to get back upstairs, turned around and glanced down at Jack. "Yes, Sir?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders and mumbled: "Maybe... stay over tonight?"

Ianto just smiled and nodded. For the first time in a long time, his heart felt light again - God, he'd missed that feeling -, and he thought: _Maybe this night won't be such a bad night after all._


End file.
